Jafo, you've probably learned a few tricks in 5y on
, but since this thread is fun I thought I'd pass along some of my engineering knowhow.
First, oil doesn't hold more heat than water (few things do). The advantage of oil is that is boils at MUCH higher a temperature, so if you want to hold heat above 212F (100C) without having an expensive high pressure boiler, oil is your fluid. For hot water...hot water will soak up the most heat from the sun.
Second, what you're going after is capturing as much radiative heat from the sun as possible. Not all "black" paints are created equal. Find one with a really high emissivity (near 1 if possible) as that is a measure of how much solar radiation it will absorb. I think wood stove black paints are good ones.
Third, you'll be fighting heat loss at night, or really any time the fluid in your barrel is hotter than the air outside.
will keep heat from leaving...but it will also keep heat from coming in.
For showers, you can't beat the cost to benefit ratio of those black plastic solar showers. You fill up enough water for the shower, leave it out in the hot part of the day, do your thing, and then fold it up and put it in the cabinet.